Rutta tut tut

"Each of our lives is like a painting and we are the master. Each day and each act can be another stroke on the canvas. If our hearts are in the right place, we will create something of beauty that will touch people's lives and be remembered."

-Robert Duncan

Last night I sat in a car with a boy and just talked. Nothing out of the usual I guess, except that I love him and I can't tell him. It is weird to become so close to someone, best friends, and than realize you care about them more than you ever thought possible. It is stupid. I don't want to feel this way, especially about him. The quote I wrote reminds me a lot of him. Everything he has painted in his life has had a great and profound affect on me. I just sit back and look at what he has created. His "art work" or 'life" has made me laugh, it has made me angry, and it has made me cry. It creates so many emotions. He has taught me a lot about myself. He has shown me my every weakness and some of my many strengths and I can't decide if I am thankful for that or not. I just know that when I am around him, it is hard. He knows I care a lot about him. I care if he is happy, I care if he is mad, I care if he is sad, I care about how he feels. Things were easier when I only cared about how I felt. I have always been aware of others feelings, but I have never tip-toed around them, and I find myself doing that for him. I tip-toe around, trying to make everything easier and smoother for him. I shouldn't. I was a lot happier before I figured out how I felt...I wish I had stayed in the dark. The only thing I can say is, he has created something of beauty and it has touched the very deepest part of my heart and I will never forget it.

Dear Marc Jacobs,

I really, really, REALLY love you.

11/4/10

This morning when I wrote in my journal I wrote something that I hope I can remember the rest of my life. It is important to remember and to never be taken for granted. This is what I wrote; "You can't go looking for love, because love is something that finds you. Love comes unexpectedly, unannounced, and when you finally see it and realize what you have, you have to hold on tight and never ever let go." I have come to realize that I trust when I shouldn't and I don't trust when I should, I love too late and I never run after the things that need to be chased, I sabotage myself for reasons that are unknown. I want to know why I am the why I am. Sometimes, sometimes I feel so messed up.

For a fun side note; I dressed in mustard yellow again, and not even on purpose. Hilarious.

Mustard

CAUTION: HORRIBLE QUALITY PHOTO SHOP.

I LOVE mustard yellow! I am so very happy and thankful that it is a perfect fit to my skin complexion, because the good Lord knows I wear it way too often. I feel as though mustard yellow needs to be somewhere in all of my outfits. *Sigh* I just can't be stopped.

everything

This is going to be an EVERYTHING blog. I started a fashion blog, a blog for whatever is on my mind, and I was just thinking how I needed to start a blog for photography. Well, my goodness gracious, that is ridiculous. This is my everything blog. E V E R Y T H I N G.